How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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just in time?

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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