"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -2

pee

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops