how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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eat a hot dog

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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