i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

Help I'm being raped!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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