What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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ok

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Knock knock come in.

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I like touching my boobs

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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