Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

minorities

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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