I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Matt is a Duster!

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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