What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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