Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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A chicken walks into a barn.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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