Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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69

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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