How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Yee

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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