What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops