A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

Obama walks into a hospital....

Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...