what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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