what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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69

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Take wrong turns

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9

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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