What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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Basically

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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