why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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Okay, after this one then...

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops