Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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I like the color potato.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Your mom went to college

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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