why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

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I HATE G-SPOT AND BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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