Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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whats more serious than rape the holocaust

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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VAL SUCKS

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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