what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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The dewey decimal system

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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