Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Water? I hardly know her.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops