Q

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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jibby jobby

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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