Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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You.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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