who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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