What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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