Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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a Jew had a small nose

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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