Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

thumb_up thumb_down

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

thumb_up thumb_down

Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down

Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down

MAKE

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down

Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops