When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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