yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Jayden Eccles

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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Women's Rights

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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PerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerú

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops