Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

Jokes Ki Duniya

I'm Andrew Schmitt

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

Whats In My Trash? Bears

Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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