- Anti Joke

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

Up High. high fives In The Middle high fives Down Low high fives In the Grass high fives You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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