A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops