What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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scientology.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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