Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Cancer.

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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