Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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poop.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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