Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +30

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

88

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops