A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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a Jew had a small nose

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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