The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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Invisible Television.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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A seal walks into a club...

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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