How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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John Stamos.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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