DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama so old, she might die soon

thumb_up thumb_down +11

*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Morning wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

VAGINA.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops