What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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