when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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