what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Women's rights.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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