Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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Dylan Eichas

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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hi hi strager danger

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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