What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is white and square? A ping pong block

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops