What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats 2+1? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Of course, first door on your left

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do cows in Africa say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops