You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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this is not a joke. jks

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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