My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Turkey Balls

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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2 + 2 = fish

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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