Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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VAL SUCKS

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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4-4-2

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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I dont have a girlfriend

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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